


Til I See You Again

by seattlerainn



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29672298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seattlerainn/pseuds/seattlerainn
Summary: Meredith and Addison are both broken, both hurt, and are both not searching when something amazing happens. Slow burn? (I’m gonna try) Multi-fic, don’t know where this going!! (light) Suicide trigger warning !!
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Til I See You Again

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I guess I’m just super inspired by this couple right now. Idk, it’s whatever. Anywho this is the first chapter of a hopefully angst and long fic ahead, comments are so so SO appreciated. Love y’all and enjoy <3

“What do you  _ want _ from me Meredith!?” Addison had her hands on her hips and was staring at the younger woman indifferently, but with hurt in her eyes.

Since the moment they stepped into the on call room the atmosphere had been hostile, and it wasn’t looking up.

“What do I  _ want_? Really Addison?” Meredith brought her hands up quickly to drop them back to her sides with a huff.

As Addison just stared with wide eyes in the question, Meredith breathed in unbelievability and went on. 

“I want  _ you  _ to admit that the last 6 months haven’t all been in my brain. That we’ve laughed, and bonded, and grown and-“

“And  what Meredith? Yes we’ve gotten closer and taken a liking to each other bu-“

“You know  _damn_ well it’s been more than that. Why can’t you just admit that-“ Merediths words trailed off and no more came out. She was so frustrated with the woman in front of her and for a moment she could only stand there and blink.

Addison then stepped into Merediths personal space. 

“Admit  _ what _ Meredith? Something you can’t even dare say out loud?”

Addison took one step closer until she was practically whispering into the interns ear.

“I’m  _ married_,  _ you’re _ moving on, and this conversation is  _ over _ .” 

Addison didn’t look back as she made her way out of the room.

** _ 6 Months Earlier _ **

Meredith could feel the eyes burning into the back of her skull from across the cafeteria. Ever since prom, where Meredith and Derek had adulterous sex Meredith had felt like utter and complete shit. 

She didn’t in the moment, she reveled in his hands and it felt as though the world had stopped spinning for only them. It was magical and amazing, until it wasn’t and then Derek was telling her how sorry he was, that he can’t hurt Addison anymore, and that he’s going back. The harsh world of reality fell upon the blonde as she was left with a broken heart, and an overwhelming amount of guilt for the woman she had recently been calling her friend. 

That was 2 days ago. The wounds were fresh for everyone, and it was bleeding into the whole hospital. 

From a window reflection in front of her Meredith could make out that it was Addison staring at her _this_ time. Yesterday and the majority of today the blonde could feel and was sometimes catching when one or both of the Shepard’s eyes would follow her. 

Derek always looked sorry, in a “I can’t be with you and I’m sad and I know you’re sad but there’s also nothing I’m gonna do to change it” way. If it didn’t piss her off so much she might have found it cute.

Addison had looked full of rage most of the time, mixed in with the cold stare of betrayal and Addison would never admit it but sadness was alive in her eyes as well. She hadn’t worked directly with the attending since the prom, but that didn’t mean that Meredith couldn’t feel every unspoken scowl that was directed her way. 

Meredith couldn’t take the couple staring or groveling or whatever they wanted to call it anymore. She needed to not be the ping pong ball that the feuding spouses flung back and fourth. She needed to not feel like utter and complete shit, and right now being stared down by either of attractive pair wasn’t helping with that. So she left. The cafeteria that is, to a lonely hallway with a gurney. It reminded her of where her friends sometimes preoccupied their time, except it was in a completely different part of the hospital. Sitting down with a bag of uneaten chips Meredith looked over a chart for several minutes until her bag was finished and she had refreshed her mind plenty on the simple case. Meredith let her head fall back and just breathed in that moment, silence. No gossiping nurses... no mindless friend chatter... and most importantly no Mr. and Mrs. McDreamy to interrupt her calm. It felt nice, but nothing stays to nice in this hospital. 

“Derek!” Meredith heard Addison in desperation from down the hall.

“No Addison, not now I’m done!” Derek pulled himself from what looked like Addisons grasp and the other woman was left alone. Meredith felt like an outsider and she was uncomfortable invading on a moment so, personal. Addison then dropped her head into her hands and began lightly sobbing, walking further down the hall her shortened breaths became more audible to the intern. 

Meredith did her best to crouch down and make herself invisible, she hadn’t wanted to be forced into this uncomfortable conversation just yet, and frankly would rather be stared down by either of them than speak to the doctor or have her know she was there. She hadn’t wanted Addison to gain the knowledge that she saw what could be a breaking moment for the couple, but she could never be so lucky. As she heard the heels clack further and further towards her Meredith looked up and was met with what Meredith can describe as the saddest eyes she’d ever witnessed. And she’d seen a lot of things in her life, her mother slitting her wrist among those things but still she’d never seen a smile so hopeless and eyes so void of emotion. It made Meredith want to cry with her, seeing how much pain Derek could cause another human being. It was one thing being her, she was used to be treated liketrash and like she didn’t mean anything. It never made it easier but still. Seeing Addison, a woman so much higher than her in status and maturity in a quite similar emotional manner was odd. Meredith just wanted to hold the other woman, if just to let her know that everything would eventually be okay. And yes, this realization hit when Meredith saw just how she had been effecting the other woman. 

“Meredith I’m so sorry.” She sniffled while wiping stray tears from her eyes, not completely done crying yet. 

“But wha- why? Why would you possibly be sorry?” Meredith could only scrunch her eyebrows and take in whatever moment was happening between them in this secluded hallway. 

“This all started with me,” Addison was look towards Meredith but not at her. “I cheated first, I stayed with the man I cheated with while my husband ran away, I came after him, and now I’m harboring him when I can tell he’s miserable.” Addison continued to cry, trying not to make direct eye contact with the intern.

Meredith didn’t know why or what prompted her to do so but she got off the gurney and pulled Addison in for a tight hug. Meredith could feel the other woman not responding at first, she was sure that shock was a factor mixed with ‘hey I kinda still hate you for sleeping with my husband’, but eventually after a few seconds she relaxed. Soon the redheads sobs became quieter and her breathing became even in the interns arms. Meredith completely knew what made her begin the hug, but pulling away and the repercussions from beginning the hug left her mind blank. Luckily for her, Addison eventually pulled away and checked her eyes for tears one last time before giving the intern a small smile. 

Meredith didn’t know what to say, she was to focused on what has just transpired and by the looks of Addison she was in the same boat. Maybe not about the moment they just had, but she definitely didn’t have any words. Taking a deep breath and looking towards the ceiling Addison looked like she may start again, so before Meredith can catch any tears fall she grabs her shoulders and gently asks. 

“Do you wanna sit with me?” 

Looking down with another deep breath Addison caught Merediths eye, but not before letting two more tears drop. She didn’t think that she could speak still, so she nodded her head with a sad smile. 

As the women sat on the gurney words weren’t exchanged. Addison sat right next to Meredith and they just, were. Meredith offered the other woman some of her chips at some point which she politely rejected. The silence wasn’t unwelcome and surprisingly wasn’t uncomfortable for either of them. Both of them had been feeling hurt by the same man, it was almost calming just living in a moment in time with the only other person who can truly understand your current pain. Addison didn’t cry anymore, and they didn’t hug. Meredith didn’t offer any more because there simply wasn’t anything else she could right then. When Addison got down from the gurney she left Meredith without a word or a look back. Meredith wasn’t sure what had just happened, but she wasn’t necessarily put off by it. Meredith now really understood how much the other woman was hurting, and she didn’t want to be any part of that. Once Meredith had begun to adopt a headache from her swirling emotions surrounding her ex-boyfriend and his wife, she was finally paged. 


End file.
